We just finished our 4,300 mile road trip down memory lane. It was an emotional and physically challenging trip through 12 states and 70 years of my life.

I was born in California, lived 11 years in Normal, Illinois, then moved to Carbondale, Illinois in 1968. That was just the start of many, many moves, mostly due to family or financial needs.

It felt strange to be back in Carbondale last week. I spent so much of my formative life there. We moved there as I started 8th grade, then high school, then I married at 18 to a local guy who was 10 years older. Not my idea, my mom was a marriage broker. Just kidding. She worked with him at Southern Illinois University (SIU).

5 years later my first son was born. Life was easy breezy, just like it’s supposed to be for a young mom. Then 2 years later my second son entered this world with a little brain that didn’t develop…not even after 29 1/2 years of struggles. His heart was as big as the moon, with a sweet little grin, but he never developed beyond a 2 1/2 month level. Life definately changed from easy breezy, pretty darn fast.

Our doctor with no bedside manners, abruptly told us when my little guy was 8 months old, that our son would be a “vegetable,” all his life. “Find a home to put him in,” we were told.

The husband over the next few months decided to “Exit Left,” and I became a single mom and a fighter for my little boy with the sweet grin. His dad would visit him only a few times over the years until my son’s death so many years later.

The hubby kept everything but the crib and toddler bed and I moved into Section 8 housing for a year. I had nothing to my name, very little money except for $200 a month child support and my paycheck from SIU. My parents were wonderful but lived paycheck to paycheck, just like everyone did.

I worked hard, took classes to advance my job and paycheck and took my son to St Louis frequently, hoping for good news. There never was,

Then my son’s doctor said I needed to move to St Louis and enroll him in a private, very expensive special education school if there was any hope for his future.

I searched for the highest paying job I could find, applied for it and finally got it at a prestigious private investment firm after begging them and offering to work for free for a month. It worked. I finally got the job I desperately needed to move my boys two hours away from family and expand my little boy’s horizon.

My company became a beta sight for the newly developed Microsoft Office and I was the only one that wanted to learn Excel. Everyone else was eager to move from Selectric typewriters to Word. I guess my algebra skills finally paid off.

I eventually went from being a secretary to the “Excel Queen” of Clayton and helped the owner of the firm and all of his ultra rich friends with their business strategic planning dreams.

Then the big chance of a lifetime came along that changed all of our lives…..good and bad. I was offered the CFO position at a nasty smelling paper recycling plant in a tiny town in southern Indiana in 1991. It came with a $50k salary, a $10K signing bonus that paid off my credit card for all of my son’s expenses over the years, free rent for 6 months, and a car phone the size of a suitcase.

In other words I was a prostitute. I took a lot of money for a job I didn’t know how to do, miles from home, and did not ever want. But the money was good. And I was now out of debt and I started saving like crazy. I leaned about the market, researched like crazy and watched my money start compounding. It would grow into my retirement fund for the next 36 years.

My younger son was now in a group home, receiving wonderful care and we visited him often. My older son was being bullied non-stop and my second husband was hating our new Indiana small town life. No amount of money would keep us there, so we moved back to St Louis after unbelievable challenges along the way for all three of us.

My older son started high school, my husband landed a loan compliance job and I took a chance. I decided to use my title of “Excel Queen of STL” and became a consultant. Within months I had a small group of clients that were in need of business planning, obtaining loans and truly understanding what was working for them and what was not in their business.

My husband would check out every few years, needing a break from life at a mental health clinic for 6 weeks or so. He would continue this pattern for 34 years until our divorce that he insisted on. It took half my savings and our house.

Then came the most painful moment in my life. Worse than being told my child would be a vegetable, worse than his death 29 1/2 years later, worse than my dad’s death at age 59. My ex-husband committed suicide just months after the divorce, finally realizing it was a mistake. I had just moved on, deciding it was time to jump back into the deep end and find a life partner. My ex had closed the door for us permanently and my heart grieved. Was I a divorcee or a widow? It felt like both.

But I learned to trust and love again. I’ve been with Steve for seven years and we married only 6 months ago. Our life has been like a roller coaster, a lot of hands in the air screaming our heads off and a lot of dips with tears in our eyes.

We’ve moved 6 times, helped my mom through her last few years of life, then fix up and sell her home, move the stepdad into an independent living home, then help him until his death a year ago.

After that we moved back to Denver into a home with hidden secrets we weren’t aware of, but that we quickly learned about within days. It had hidden black mold and other toxic creepy stuff throughout our lovely house just down the street from my 13 and 15 year old grandkids.

It took 10 ER trips and over $200k to make our house into a healthy and beautiful “new” home. The toxicity in the house killed my immune system and I will never be the same.

But I am a fighter. A survivor who never gives up. I’ve literally fallen down many times, but I always get up for the next round.

Here’s my advice to you and trust me, it works!

Just shake it off and take a deep breath. Close your eyes.

Visual your next step and what it will take to reach it.

Just keep dreaming of “what if.”

Nothing is impossible.

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